right now- i am thinking how far will any of this take me this year. another year down, 2016 was kind to me. i was not kind to myself. i was highly critical, and did little to take care of my health. i chased the dollar to have enough just to eat. my mom always said to me if anything, always eat right- get nutrition, you will need it. i couldn’t express how right she was. my dad always says- you are my son, and i am well pleased. that will always ring in my head as well. a mission of mine this year is to cold turkey remove all toxins from my life and follow a path of wellness. it’s not entirely my fault that paying as an artist isn’t exceptional until you “make it”- it’s really the years grinding that make it all worth it. selling my soul to eat healthy, just to repeat the cycle.
if anything- this has taught me value and gratitude of myself, the world i live in, and the people i surround myself with. this year calls for me. it’s asking for all of me. i am okay with this and understand that everything has been happening for a reason. it’s the only way to spread my clothing + art project- taking risks is my life.
maybe taking a switch from coffee to tea will help ease my anxiety.
maybe drawing everyday how i feel will help with my thoughts.
maybe finding the right someone just as lost as me to spend time with will heal us both. or maybe that is a selfish way to look at it unless metaphysical quotes have been right this entire time and “i am we is, he as we, and she, and him and-”
i over think simple situations. i’ve felt art has been the only way i can really express myself unfiltered. i will find my center.
im taking this year to fully develop and find myself.
